Trial by Violence

A young me
Didn’t understand
The American Justice System.

My mother said, “When a conflict happens,
”It is your right to be heard
“By a jury of your peers.”

I thought about my peers.
“That sounds awful,” I said.

“Why on earth would you say that?”

She didn’t understand
That I understood my peers.

One day when I was in the 2nd grade,
We were learning the science of sound.
The class was divided up into groups
And we were given stethoscopes.

I had the stethoscope in my ears,
And the girl next to me
Pulled the diaphragm from my hands
And started banging it on the table.
Thunder clapped inside my head,
And the shots scraped at my eardrums.
I don’t know why
She hated me so bad.

I told the teacher.
The teacher asked us both
What happened.
She said she didn’t
Do anything.
I explained.

The teacher said, “She has no reason to lie.”
So what happened to me
Was my fault,
And I was now in trouble.

Some of the kids realized
They could have fun
Torturing me.
They would laugh to see me in pain.
It didn’t matter.
This is hell.

So no, I thought.
Why on earth,
Knowing what I know,
Would I trust my peers
To act in my best interest?

The adults didn’t seem to get it.

I saw men on death row.
The system didn’t realize they were innocent
Until after they’d been murdered.
I saw people commit terrible acts,
Only to be set free.
I saw teachers take their problems
Out on their students.
I saw adults pick favorites,
And I saw formless crowds
Ready to kill anyone
Who thought differently
From them.

In elementary school,
I saw how nobody
Was trustworthy.

I didn’t realize until I was older,
That what I saw in my peers
Was really the parents of my peers.

But even all these years later,
I still wouldn’t trust them.
Because trusting them
Can kill you.